Managing Food Allergies at Restaurants: The Good and The Bad

My husband and I have always enjoyed trying new restaurants and most of our special occasion dates these days, include our two children. We live a couple of hours from our close relatives and do not have a trusted local babysitter for date nights. Also due to our son's multiple severe food allergies we often opt for take-out or choose vacation rentals with kitchens so that we may prepare safe foods without always dining out.

Thankfully, most of the restaurants we have gone to over the past 5 years have been very understanding of our son's food allergies. We have been blessed with many kind waiters who have had no issue with allowing our son to eat his own safe food while our family dines at their restaurant. There have been a few occasions when we were able to order something small that was safe for our son (such as fresh-made guacamole, or sliced fresh fruit). However, due to poor cross-contamination management this has not worked out well at all restaurants and he has gotten very sick on numerous occasions eating foods that were "supposed" to be prepared safely. While good communication with the waiter as well as the chef is critical for us when deciding if a food establishment can safely meet our son's needs, mistakes still happen.

Unfortunately, we have also had a handful of bad experiences in which the restaurant staff has had no compassion for food allergies. When our son was 4 years old dining out with our family locally, the waitress added a five dollar "plate" charge to our bill since our son did not order a meal. This experience was very disappointing as the waitress was informed of our son's food allergies and she did not notify us that there would be a charge added. Also it was during a very slow time of the day for the restaurant so we were not taking away business in anyway. More recently while traveling, we experienced a waitress who rudely told us that our son could not eat the safe food that we had packed for him while in the restaurant. Even after my husband and I explained about his multiple severe food allergies, the waitress insisted that she needed to talk to her manager. (To which we replied, "If our son can't eat his safe food, then we will leave"). We probably would have walked out immediately but at 7:15pm and waiting over an hour for a table, we decided to wait it out for the manager's response and had our Allergist's Note ready in hand. Thankfully, the manager was a little more understanding than our waitress so we were able to stay and finish our meal. Needless to say, we won't ever be going back to the two restaurants mentioned above!

As our son continues to get older, I worry that dining out at restaurants will become more difficult. While it is hard enough on him now to have to eat the limited safe food options that can be packed in his lunch box, at least he is able to be apart of our family meal. What if in a few years he is dining out with friends and still needs his lunch box to be able to eat safely? Will restaurants be okay with a 10 year old not ordering a meal? I pray everyday that our son will outgrow his food allergies but if he doesn't then these are my concerns as I look forward to the future.